In typical new year’s eve fashion, I’ve spent the last 24 hours reflecting on the hell of a year I’ve had. 2018 was big. And it did not disappoint.
Not only was 2018 the year I turned 30 (and in a big way, obviously) I took a leap and moved out of Michigan for the first time and down to Florida. I accepted a contract job for 6 months with one of the Big 4. I sold my condo. I uprooted my entire life halfway across the country. I went on a big adventure.
I’ve learned a LOT. About myself, life and taking chances. I’ve gained new perspectives. I’ve cried more in these last few months than I ever have. I’ve spent a lot of time being lonely, therefore either snuggling my cats or taking naps. I’ve stepped outside of my comfort zone. I’ve realized that you truly don’t know what you have and how good you have it until it’s gone.
Being away from (most) my closest friends, family, MSU and my teams have been nothing short of brutal. Now I have absolutely loved being with my family down here and seeing them nearly every day. We’ve had some amazing times. And having another couple of close friends, Rachel & Pete, has been SO amazing too. And yeah, the weather is pretty good…but I hated missing football season in East Lansing. I hate currently missing basketball and hockey season. I hated missing friend’s birthdays and big life events. And when I found out my contract is not getting extended at my job, I took it as a sign…
Now I need you to know that I am not writing this for anyone but me. (no offense) Because, for some reason, I feel like I need to justify this decision and this is my way of doing it. (Because apparently doing it because it’s my life and I want to isn’t enough) I needed to write it out. Because part of me feels like I’ve failed. (even though I know I haven’t.) To convince myself that what I feel is what I need to follow. I wanted to prove to my family and myself that I can take on a new adventure. I can branch out. I can take a long jump out of my comfort zone and prove that I’m versatile. That I can do big things no matter where I go. That I could take a chance on myself and leap out of my comfort zone. But it turns out that chance has left me lonely, anxious, and constantly feeling the need to introvert.
With that being said, it’s time to come to the conclusion that I’ve thought about nearly every single day since I’ve made this move. Michigan is home. It’s where I am meant to be. It is where I am happiest. And it is where I’ll be calling home once again in 2019.
So as I sit here by myself, cuddled up with my nuggets in this shitty apartment with my annoying neighbors lighting off fireworks, I can’t help but smile knowing that even though these next few months will still be tough, I have the best still to look forward to. 2019 will be another year of growth, but it is going to take me back to where I belong.
So here’s to happiness, home, and hygge* in 2019!
*Read The Little Book of Hygge-it’s a life changer!